The Escapism

I still can’t find the solution for this mosquito problem. And I’m pretty upset right now, caused by my short-thinking and stupid decision to spend some money (let’s calculate, with the sum I can get myself 3 glasses of Starbucks coffee!!!) on some MOSQUITO & INSECT KILLER.
This evening as I and a friend were walking towards the parking lot to go home at a quite fancy mall, we passed a spot that sells some air-freshener and as far as I can tell as a mosquito killer. It’s shaped like a lantern, only the light is purple, which is believed will attract mosquitos towards it before passing an electrical wires that will end their lives. After asking several questions to the sales-girl who seemed less excited in explaining the product to me, and since there were no mosquitos around to be volunteers, my mind wasn’t completely sure about the product (where were you mosquitos when I needed you?). But I said to myself, what the heck, if this thing really works, I’d be free from the filthy creatures. So I BOUGHT IT, which turned out to be the most stupid decision I’ve made (besides other stupid decisions I haven’t admitted).
As I arrived home, I was pretty excited in trying this thing out, so I straightly plugged it to the power supply. We watched TV for nearly 2 hours, while in between, I kept turning my head to look whether there were any mosquitos got stung or the ‘crack’ sound it makes when a mosquito is stung. But during the 2 hour period, I still kept fighting the mosquitos around me. I thought, perhaps I should place it farther, then closer, higher, then lower. I even turned the lights off for 5 minutes. After the film ended, I checked the small tray at the bottom of the appliance, NO DEAD BODIES!!! NOT EVEN ONE!!! AND ITCHY ARRRGGGGHHHH….
But then I thought, perhaps I didn’t set everything up according to the manual, so I took and actually read it. Here’s what I read and made me laugh:

QUICK FACTS FOR BEST RESULTS:
1. A DIMLY-LIT OR DARK AREA INCREASES EFFECTIVENESS
   The UV light that is emitted from the unit attracts the insects. Hence, increasing the relative brightness of the UV light against the environment works to increase the effectiveness.
*So, it means, when I turn this thing on, I should be in the darkness and do nothing? I shouldn’t watch TV (well you know, watching TV in the dark isn’t good for your eyesight), I shouldn’t read. Thanks, MOSQUITO & INSECT KILLER!*

2. PLACE THE UNIT AWAY FROM YOURSELF
Mosquitos and insects are naturally attracted by the UV light that it emitted from the unit. Thus, to prevent these insects from flying towards you, place the unit away from your body.
*Well, according to experience, these insects are more attracted to my blood rather than the damned UV light! So, did you mean, I should place this appliance 10 metres away from me? GIVE ME A BREAK.*

3. DO NOT BLOCK THE UNIT.
*WHAT AM I? A FOOL?*

4. TRY DIFFERENT POSITIONS
To ensure that you find the optimum position to place the unit, try placing the unit in as much different probable locations/positions in the house as possible. This is to ascertain which is the most ideal position.
*It sounds absurd to me if compared to fact number 2. The most ideal position would be around my existence, for that’s where the mosquitos would be flying around. Or you’re trying to say, I should purchase 5 more? I’m not a mosquito hot spot hunter, I just don’t want those mosquitos to bite me. That’s all.* *sob*

Dear MOSQUITO & INSECT KILLER maker, please make a smarter manual, more reasonable price, and a better product.
If only I could repeat the time, I’d better get myself a MOSQUITO RACKET which isn’t as expensive as this MOSQUITO & INSECT KILLER with UV light whatsoever, and spend my money on Starbucks on the fifth floor.

Oh ja, this appliance has 1 year guarantee. I wouldn’t trade it to get another similar product, and there’s nothing to complain about it, except IT DOESN’T KILL MOSQUITOS AND OTHER INSECTS. Perhaps I can use it as a birthday gift for a friend who adores purple. YUCK!