2007 May « The Escapism

Fixed and unfixed

I can’t help it.

I’m sick of the layout of my blog, and I can’t do anything about it. Asked a web-designer friend to help me out, looking forward eagerly to the new one. Grrrr…

By the way, MBS scheduled me for an interview regarding the admission. Now I have butterflies in my stomach ~~again~~.

And, I went to the most unfriendly dentist that kept my mouth shut for the whole half an hour or so. Four pathetic cavities olllll….fixed.

My tooth-fairy is smiling at last.

Posted in Randomly

Appetizer
Name a sound you like to hear.
a sound when there’s an incoming message in my cellphone
Soup
What is your favorite kind of cheese?
I’m not a cheese-lover.
Salad
Do you sleep late on Saturday mornings? Why or why not?
Yep, because I may wake up late too
Main Course
When was the last time you forgot something? What was it, and how long did it take to remember it?
Last Wednesday. After my Deutsch private lesson, I was supposed to pay my teacher, but I just walked away though I sensed that there was something weird as she followed me with her eyes. I remembered 5 minutes afterwards as I was stucked in the traffic, driving. I didn’t feel good at that time, but now it’s funny.
Dessert
Fill in the blank: I notice that Chinese celebrities have to hold so many mics themselves when being interviewed.

Posted in Meme

Dance in the freedom…

May 23
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Yesterday I finally decided to listen to the CD I once bought but never really listen to it. Hillsong’s Mighty To Save. I began to sing along something like,

“I will worship You for who You are… my soul secured, Your promise sure, Your love endures…always…”

“We’re gonna dance, dance dance in the freedom we know, we’re gonna dance, dance in the freedom we know, we’re gonna dance dance dance in the freedom we know, because the freedom we know is gonna last forever…”

I listened to 14 songs nonstop and sang along, using my dad’s CD walkman.

It works.

It really works ’til now.

Somehow, my burden’s lifted up, the black shadowy clouds disappeared.

The situation hasn’t changed. Nothing’s changed, but one.

Me.

Posted in Solitude

Questionable elephant

May 22
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Just to keep myself updated.

Well, people asking me questions, so I get irritated easily like having my PMS, but I’m not (I wish I am). So what? they’re just being attentive. There’s nothing wrong with them, they don’t mean to harm me, they just care. It’s just I can’t take it these days.

I do really hope there are people asking me How I feel. So I can spread the virus and hope to feel relieved after pouring out the whole whiny-nagging emotions. But there are none. I think God is arranging it that way, so I’m not turning into a real whiny and nagging weirdo.

I’m also asking questions. Inside. So many questions that deep deep far I know what the answers are. They’re not audible, it sucks. And here I am counting every second, every minute and every day feels like a gigantic elephant that I have to pull just to make it walk.

How do I feel?

Hell, yes, I feel unheard.

Only this time I want to be a grown-up. I need to be out of my mind sometimes, need to be perfectly insane and don’t give a damn about it. Problems provide a chance for me to grow up. Grown-ups make decisions. Yay…

I’m not saying trash. I’m saying the right thing, though I haven’t felt good inside.

The elephant doesn’t want to walk. Let’s see if it stays that way when I ride on it.

At least I won’t be this exhausted.

Posted in Error found in the nerve system

Stormy

May 20
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Great…

I yelled at my friends, took out everything on them. Every single damn uncomfortable uneasiness that’s been going on inside my heart and mind.

I even complained to God and wished that my dad could be more like a father to me. More protecting. That I don’t have to do most of the things by myself. I know I’m not supposed to be this way, there’s always be a good side of this. But sometimes I just can’t see it at all, like this time. *sigh*

I’m begging God to forgive me. Calm the storm in me. It’s been there since a while and it hasn’t stopped yet, at least I can’t make it stop.

I feel bad enough. That I think I don’t deserve to sleep and rest

Posted in Error found in the nerve system

Photohunt

May 19
6 Comments

Theme: COOKED

Hot and Sour Shrimp Soup

I had this last Monday for dinner at one of the seafood restaurants. They’re all really COOKED, aren’t they? suitably served during cold weather.

A subtle blend of hot and sour with citrus overtones, tom yam goong is the most famous of all Thai soups. Each region has its own particular variation of the recipe.

Recipe:8 oz (250 g) shrimp/prawns, shelled and deveined, with shellsreserved
3 cups (24 fl oz/750 ml) water
2 garlic cloves (kratiem), minced
5 kaffir lime leaves (bai ma-good)
3 thin slices fresh or dried galangal (kha)
1/4 cup (2 fl oz/60 ml) fish sauce (nam pla)
2 stalks lemon grass/citronella (ta-krai), lower 1/3 portiononly, cut into 1-in (2.5-cm) lengths
2 shallots, sliced
1/2 cup sliced straw mushrooms
5 green Thai chili peppers (prik khee noo), optional
1/4 cup (2 fl oz/60 ml) lime juice
1 teaspoon black chili paste (nam prik pow)
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro/coriander leaves (bai pak chee)

How to cook:

1. Rinse the prawn shells and place them in a large pot with the water. Heat to boiling, strain the broth and discard the shells.
2. Add the garlic, lime leaves, galangal, fish sauce, lemon grass and shallots to the stock, then the mushrooms and chili peppers, if using. Cook gently for 2 minutes.
3. Add the shrimp to the soup, and reheat to boiling. When the shrimp are cooked, place the lime juice and black chili paste in a serving bowl. Pour the soup into the bowl, stir, garnish with the cilantro leaves, and serve.

Posted in Photohunt

Friday’s Feast 144

May 18
6 Comments

Appetizer
List 3 emotions you experienced this week.
fussy, stressed out, sarcastic. What a nice week.

Soup
Name a car you’d love to have.
something dodgy like this would be nice. Sporty, elegant, strong.

Salad
Describe your typical morning routine.
stare at the clock a couple of times, go to bathroom, then drink a glass of water.

Main Course
Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply?
Haven’t found a reason to do so. I always think famous people have others to answer their emails, not genuine.

Dessert
Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?
No, I don’t.

Posted in Meme

Indonesian Idle

May 18
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I feel idle…

And it doesn’t feel good at all. Well, in spite of the fact that now I have more time for everything, I still feel not quite fitted for everything.

I no longer teach 5 days a week, since the time is getting nearer for me to go. I’ve also got tons of Deutsch’s exercise I must catch up, rather than being a couch potato.

But the thing is, I still don’t know when I will go. The visa hasn’t come out yet, I’ve called the embassy twice this week (1st on Monday) and they said: not yet. The second was this early morning, and it looked like the embassy is on holiday. Gee, they have so many holidays!!!

So I’m in idle situation. I’m doing the thing I hate the most.

Wa…i….t….ing…. yes, waiting… I hate waiting.
Especially when I couldn’t do anything to make it quicker.

I used to make everything quicker. I mean, if someone else’s doing some kind of a job too slowly, I’ll make things quicker. When they think or decide on something too slow, I’d make a quick decision. I love it when the result is obvious and visible. I’m glad. I feel secure.

But this one I can’t put my hands on. This thing I must let go for God to handle alone. I must let it go. Just because it’s a long weekend, doesn’t mean that God has a day off too. I believe he’s working, he’s working on it, infact, I’m quite sure (though I don’t see it), that He has settled everything. It’s all being settled. LONG AGO.

I remember a sermon I’ve once heard, God is not late.

What I have to do now is waiting. Not waiting passively, but actively getting myself prepared. That’s it. That’s what I’m gonna do.

Good, now that I’ve come to my senses, I’d better start doing things. NOW.

Posted in Solitude

Love conquers all?

May 15
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Now, THIS got me thinking!!!

Read this article I searched on Oprah.com hours after I saw it on Oprah Show this morning.

And this second article I incidentally found as I was searching for the first one.

get it at http://www.fodey.com/generators/newspaper/snippet.asp

2nd article from http://forums.somd.com/showthread.php?t=1517
***

Wow, ain’t that something? mouth to ~~mouth~~ snout!
I’ve been categorizing myself since I was a kid as a dog-lover, though I learn to love all the dogs I’ve ever had (counting…) in a very childish act to a more mature act of love.
But I start to questioning myself, would I ever do such things as the above men did to a stranger’s dog?
The police in the second article owns a dog, so I guess he’s a quite dog-lover type of guy. But the fireman in the first article, he doesn’t own a dog, infact he owns a cat. I used to believe (though it’s not proven yet), that a dog-lover is a cat-hater. I’m a dog lover, and I truly hate cats (no offense, cat lovers!).

If something happens to my Benji (current dog), would I perform CPR to him? Not to mention where he’s been drinking from, oh come on! we all know, that dogs like drinking from there. Though several times I shouted at him and spanked him everytime he did that, I’ll never know if he still does that or not til now.

Does the fireman love Kindlers’ puppy? no, I don’t think so. He was simply just doing his job as a fireman, to put out fire and rescue lives (human or even pets). And that was an awesome thing to do.

I’m speechless, and I doubt myself.

Benji was sick once, from poisoning. I panicked, and took him right away to animal hospital. For the next two weeks, I had to force him to eat Norit to decrease the poison effect in his body. I opened his mouth, I was soaked in his drool and all that thing he got inside. I cleaned his dirt. I did all that out of my deepest desire to see him recovered.

But, CPR?